Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Because They Don't Have You

Kafkaesque rhetoric,
a mean obstacle,
stumbling carelessly
across my path,

driven by a
pedantic bureaucrat,
maybe lacking
power but wanting

maybe lacking
highs and lows
so engaging mine,
or maybe just
someone with just
too much time
on their hands.

Just just just frustrating,
knocking the wind out of
common sense sails
making me question logic.

Walking  by
with a peacock bravado,
Huddling with others,
like-minded colleagues
like little girls or boys
on a playground, whispering,

following the rules,
their rules
that only they know
That only they
can change

within the breath
of a whim, while
everyone around them,
Me, waits and waits
and waits. They saunter by
But let them

Because they don't have you.

Today, I said,
"Not today, I am not in a mood."
You, the older one,
shrugged your shoulders
Paying as much mind to me
as they did.

You finished
telling me off,
took my phone
to play
and then looked up
and smiled.

My eyes travelled
to you,
bouncing off
laughing shoulders,
You refusing to take me
too seriously,

refusing to let it affect
your joy.
Did I give you
that joy, resilience, spirit?
Which you give back to me.

Some people take time
My time,
time that I don't have.
Leaving their angst,
And I take that home to you,

In their high tower,
they command,
They justify,
and the audience applauds
because they have to.
Or else the show won't end.

And the self professed
rithgeous dance to the music
Let them dance,

Because they don't have you.

The littlest you
throwing bubbles in the air
at the furry beast,
And the beast dances
And you laugh
And we laugh
And the beast's sudsy beard grows.

You show me your hurt toe
that you say only I can fix.
It is small, just like the rest of you
My magical kiss makes the hurt forgotten
And we cuddle, making my hurt forgotten
Cuddles cure, at least yours does

Let them have  their pointing chins
and staring eyes.
Their paper clips, pencils and files.
Their special codes and closing doors
and windows that still allow secrets

Let their smugness
hide them away from me
Let them cuddle and cluster
together, it won't cure their hurt.

Because they don't have you.

Tonight, I sit
thinking of you two
tucked away
in rooms under a roof,
your father and I created

Sitting with him as I reminisce
and moan about the day,
He takes my hand  and says nothing
because he doesn't need to.

He sees me and that is all.
And that is all.