tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317582171394156338.post7984518619252812631..comments2020-08-07T16:21:28.630-07:00Comments on Mommy's notes: What Did The Oyster Say To The Pearl?Yaffahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12380172348971477484noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317582171394156338.post-77544702491605796682012-05-02T14:05:07.865-07:002012-05-02T14:05:07.865-07:00Hi Sharon. I don't know what happened to my or...Hi Sharon. I don't know what happened to my original response and this is my second attempt- as usual t is probably lost in space. If this gets to your page I can say that I like this piece and you should continue to write in your style reflecting what you feel. Margemargehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07469597124036741188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317582171394156338.post-36094053435561820372012-05-02T03:45:46.345-07:002012-05-02T03:45:46.345-07:00Interesting comments. In regards to the momentum, ...Interesting comments. In regards to the momentum, when I wrote it, I imagined myself performing the piece. I am glad you caught that. <br /><br />As for the comment about too many endings, my feelings are not at all hurt by your comments. I appreciate you taking the time to consider these things. I do agree there is a lot going on in the last part and originally the village and cities part was not part of the post, but my travels helped to shape me and allowed me to meet my husband, which then brings me to the girls, so I decided to put it in. My daughters are my muses and they enable me to write at this pace,which I couldn't do in the past. So, originally it had just been ended as "I sat down to write but I couldn't because I didn't have you" (as best I can remember), maybe I should have left it as that. I do feel it is important to keep the last part in because to me that is the overriding factor that has made my life blessed. Also, it is a post to my daughters, so I am talking to them. However, I do think that part needs to be looked at and seem less busy.<br />I always appreciate your advice, Peter. Helps me to develop my writing skills, so thank you.Yaffahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12380172348971477484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317582171394156338.post-81627172416245870212012-05-02T02:30:21.654-07:002012-05-02T02:30:21.654-07:00Sharon, this is my revised attempt to respond to y...Sharon, this is my revised attempt to respond to your weblog posting.<br />First, I love the energy that flows through the text, and the momentum that you build. Important.<br />Second, I enjoy your creative ideas: not always having to hit the expected note.<br />Third, I think you have too many endings. You could have ended:<br />1. "... through villages and cities." This would feel slightly unfinished, but the unresolvedness would be the point.<br />2. "... decided to stay." Slightly less interesting, this would provide both resolution and a reference to your 'reason for writing' (i.e. your daughters).<br />I think that beyond "...stay." you add too many fresh ideas when it is obvious that the piece is about to end.<br />Those are my thoughts. My intention is to help. I hope that you do not feel crushed by what I have written.Peter Hugheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00172085149974917186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317582171394156338.post-66120984593282954732012-05-01T16:00:23.639-07:002012-05-01T16:00:23.639-07:00Beautiful, thoughtful, thought-provoking post. Som...Beautiful, thoughtful, thought-provoking post. Sometimes, in quieter moments I wonder 'What if...' xJumble Treehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18178572046978666630noreply@blogger.com